This blog post is inspired by The Woke Desi’s podcast about Toxic Productivity. While I was dealing with some serious writer’s block (yet again), listening to this podcast really resonated with me. The podcast discussed that during the beginning of the pandemic, we celebrated being super productive by using our time at home to learn new skills, take classes, etc etc. However, as the world started opening up, it’s becoming more difficult to achieve that level of productivity-and it gets exhausting! I know I went through that cycle. I hustled hard with my blog in the beginning and was super active, but now post baby and the world opening back up, I have days where I just don’t want to do anything “productive” and just sit and play with my daughter. And that brings me to this week’s topic: We as women, especially moms, are caught up in this cycle of toxic productivity where we’re attempting to do everything at once and it’s hard. Like I’m trying so hard to wear so many hats and honestly I just can’t. So let me take you inside my brain, and tell you some real confessions from as a new mommy.
Mom Brain is a Real Thing-While keeping track of Aisha’s ever changing schedule and figuring out what her needs are, I tend to forget just about everything else. Whether is placing an order online to following up with a loved one, I just forget to do it because my energy is consumed with Aisha! Moms, is that normal??
I have Days Where I don’t want to “do anything”-Going hand in hand with my brain being in overdrive, I have days where I don’t want to use my brain productively: from planning content, to writing a blog, to looking up recipes for Aisha; I have days where I just want to play and attend to her when she is awake and watch a show when she takes a nap. It is on days like these where everything else feels like a drag. Moms who have it all together, I applaud you.
The Guilt is Real-Oh don’t even get me started on this. It’s never ending. I felt guilty when I didn’t enjoy breastfeeding, and I’ve felt guilty when I weaned off. Even today, I feel guilty when I want to do my own thing rather than sit with Aisha while she is playing. Basically whenever I’m not with her while she is awake, I feel some degree of guilt. However, on the other hand, if I don’t work on this blog or get my other tasks done, I don’t feel good about myself or the day. I feel I haven’t accomplished anything at all. Hence, it’s a major catch-22 situation. Thankfully, I’ve gotten better about it in due time, but it’s an annoying nag in the back of my head for sure.
So there you have it, everything that goes on in my mom brain. We’re constantly caught up in this cycle of toxic productivity where we need to get all of our tasks done, be on our parenting A-game, but frankly my body/mind craves rest sometimes and I’m better off just giving in. So let this be a reminder to us all that we all require rest and relaxation to be the best version of ourselves.